Deja-Poo, I’ve seen this shit before
Warning this isn’t my usual words of wisdom and angry at the world blog. I feel real dirty but will admit, I have watched a couple of those NSW Health press conferences at 11am. You know the ones that make you feel like a bad person full of slogans and catchphrases. So I’ve decided to have a little fun with a few of those words that they keep repeating. The slogans and words are in bold for humanoids out there.
Next Question! As the premier said some of you extra vigilant people who have been wearing your masks. We offer sincere condolences to the businesses hit with the hardest lockdowns. Talking and gathering is not allowed, in relation to the virus as some have come forward because we’re all in this together as we only offer slogans but no solutions. The other day I walking as quickly as possible, being followed by a bunch of contact tracers. I was looking for my grass roots in a cluster at my LGA, as I wanted to get jabbed but my Service NSW app wasn’t working so I couldn’t get vaccinated. I wanted to do the right thing as I have a morbid fear of super spreaders so I had to social distance to reduce those numbers. On a positive note this shit doesn’t make sense, I’m confused about police compliance. Can I stress, as you all know, I don’t have that figure but someone said 70%, wish it was 69% it would be funny to hit that target. If you’re feeling unwell please get tested, but what if you are waiting in line next to someone that is positive?
One day I wish to leave Gladystan, but there’s an international travel ban as covid-19 has mutated she is all grown up, her name is Delta, she’s a lean mean viral machine. Hopefully the pretty half English-Swedish AstraZeneca, her strong half German-American friend Pfizer and the fucken confused non-binary Moderna kill the Delta. At the end of the day life isn’t that bad, I have a roof over my head, I’m not starving, I have other essential work. I miss watching UFC, enjoying a beer and a schnitzel at the pub with mates from the Prodigy. I really want this lockdown to end, as I miss teaching, and seeing you people improve. But we’re all in this together, it feels like I’m fourteen and in trouble again, the difference is when I was fourteen I knew exactly what I had done wrong. These days I’m on knifes edge sometimes I’m on high alert. I don’t know where to stand or where the line starts. Oh shit, wear your mask or stay at home but don’t forget to scan the QR code.
Yours always
Darko Bloggins